The initial break up.

We’ve all gone through the dreaded, crappy break-up. But hopefully, with some support and some tips, it’ll help you to get through the worst of it.

My personal belief on break ups is, the person I'm dating gets one chance. You screw it up, that's it. I don't do that break up/make up thing. While this might work for some people, with the exception of two really good friends of mine, I have not seen this work out for anyone else.

So you and your significant other have just broke up. Even if you knew it was coming, it still hurts - and that’s completely normal. Even if you initiated the break up, it can still hurt. One of the best pieces of advice came from one of my closest friends from Vermont, who was going through a break up when she said to me, “Just because you love someone, does not mean they are right for you.” Right now, it might be hard to understand this, but I have found this to be true. It's probably not something you want to hear, and you're thinking this is totally NOT helpful, but it could be a blessing in disguise.

Whether or not you significant threw in something about, "Not being able to make you happy (which could be true)," or them not being happy in the relationship, it doesn't really matter. Do you really want to be with someone who is not happy? Probably not. People have to make themselves happy, before they can make someone else happy. And if they claim it was you? Well, there IS someone out there for you. Someone who will be happy just being with you. You can't ask someone to give more of themselves then they are willing to give. They will probably end up resenting you for it, if you do.

As for moving on and healing, I would say that happens in time. At this stage, you just have to focus on you, and making yourself happy and putting yourself in a good piece of mind. (As much as you can) Don’t let yourself be alone , you tend to get caught up in your own thoughts, and that's probably not the best idea. You tend to rethink the same thoughts.. Just get a couple of girlfriends together, and have a good time. LAUGH. A lot. It helps. My best friend JLo (my parents were calling her that WAY before the "other" JLo) threw a friend of ours a Re-bachelorette party (no strippers though), and while that might not be everyone’s forte, having fun with your girlfriends certainly helps - and keeps your mind busy.

Tape some positive sayings to your computer at work or your computer at home. It might seem dumb now, but looking at it, and you will begin to believe it... and it's nice to look at when you're not having the best day.

A very recently single friend of mine told me the other night, one of his hardest obstacles to overcome is the idea and actuality of doing stuff by himself. He’s having to relearn to go out, without his other half.

Living with your newly ex-significant other?
Is there anywhere you can stay? Friends you can couch surf on? Backyard to camp in? It's not be in your best interests to stay in the same place as them. During this time, search for a new place to live. Locked in a lease? See if there's a way you can sub-let a room out, so you can move out, but still have the rent paid.

Just remember, as selfish as it sounds, right now, the most important person is you. Do things that make you feel happy... do things that you had been trying to convince your significant other to do, and they for whatever reason said no, or put it off.